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Monday, December 3, 2012

Why is EQ (EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE) more important than IQ?

This essay is dedicated to anyone who wants to see improvement in our education system and those who really want to understand the importance of good education.

Academic Essay

Title: Why is EQ more important than IQ?

Kindly refer to this website about emotional quotient or emotional intelligence.

The world today worships the high-tech creation and noble achievements as a result of intelligence. We consider intelligence as a very important element in our lives. Parents send their kids to tuition centre in order to get them to be considered as an intelligent person by the society, peer, neighbours and the world, perhaps. The adult read books of intelligence to make themselves more intelligent. Some go to universities in order to get certificates so that everyone believes that he or she is intelligent and so that he or she has something to show when he or she is visited by family members and foreigners.  As the old saying goes, intelligence attracts the opposites. We have been trained to understand that being intelligent is the best achievement in the world. As we grow up, we begin to question a lot of things about intelligence. Can intelligence really make us happy? Can intelligence really make us feel grateful? Can intelligence really make us kind and loving?  These are the questions that I would like to discuss in the next paragraphs.
Now let me talk about parents first. How many parents care about the children’s feelings today? It is so obvious that parents’ feelings are MORE IMPORTANT than the children’s feelings. Some parents fail to understand that good education begins at home. The children must be taught how to respect, how to be humble, how to deal with failure, how to deal with pressure, how to be happy, how to be thankful, how to acknowledge the presence of God, how to love, how to listen, how to sympathize, how to deal with money, how to speak politely, how to eat properly (table manners), how to appreciate, how to choose, how to think, how to celebrate victory, how to understand others, how to communicate, how to be open minded, how to treat others regardless of race, the importance of being fair, the deadly consequences of racism, how to teach, how to lead and so many other important skills that parents have to do. However, how many parents believe that they are responsible to educate their kids about these essential elements? Sadly today, more and more parents give all these responsibilities to teachers at school. School has gradually becomes a one-stop center, bus stop, hospital, child care center, military camp, punching bag, welfare and counseling department because parents believe that they do not have time to teach all the skills that I have mentioned above. Please bear in mind that those skills are closely related to EQ.  I want to ask you this question. Can the teachers really teach the students about all the skills above without parents’ support? Can the teachers do that with 45 students in a small classroom? Each teacher has at least 125 students to teach each year. I don’t think each parent has 125 children to teach and care for a year. If parents do not understand this figure, good education will always remain a dream for each of us. If parents do not understand that they have no choice but to take and embrace this responsibility, more and more Malaysians will leave this country as good education will always top the list for the well-educated parents. What can we do about this? Focus on parenting skills for newlywed couples. Teach them about how to educate their kids before they start a family. Make it free because the poor ones can never afford it as they already failed to understand the importance of family planning. They failed to educate themselves about anything that they need to know before they get married. They failed to analyze anything that happens around them to prepare them for a marriage.  Parenting skills should be made compulsory and the workshops should be done by parents who did well in educating themselves and their children, not a famous or a funny speaker.
Undeniably, it is good to be intelligent as we will be the centre of reference for the ignorance and the uneducated. However, why do some intelligent people abuse their knowledge? Let us go back to their main intention before they graduated. Let say a man wishes to be a doctor. However, when he was a kid, he had never been loved by his parents. Even his own cousins despised him. However, this man is determined enough to achieve his dreams despite living in poverty as he wanted to prove to the ones who rejected him before that he can also be intelligent, or becomes somebody who is well respected by the society. As he graduated and gradually becomes a doctor, he has two choices. The first one is to take revenge on those who despised him in the past or to forgive them and gives the best service to his patients. This is the most critical question. Can you forgive your past? We always read in the newspaper about doctors and nurses who badly treated their patients. If we look at their qualifications, they do have everything as long as INTELLIGENCE is concerned to be considered as a certified doctor.
Let me give you another example. Good education is the most important agenda in any country that wants to achieve a well developed country. However, are we really giving our children a good education? Are we focusing too much on producing an intelligent human capital? How about the religious and moral education that we give them? Are they enough to make them a versatile human capital? Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that getting straight A’s is not important. My point is, the straight A’s are only given to those who excel in academic. How about those who don’t do well in academic? There must be a proper recognition system for them as they also want the same recognition received by those who do well in academic. Why can’t we give them straight A’s in bakery, welding, plastering, wiring and other technical skills? It can be done if everyone really explores the deepest part of a child’s heart.
Now let me talk about the teachers. All of them spent 3 to 5 years at teacher’s college or universities to get the license to teach. The license to teach can also be considered as the license to destroy our children as education is the backbone of a country. How about the teacher’s past? Was it sweet, sour, black, happy, devastating, great or beautiful? Did the teachers learn about counseling skills, social skills, listening skills, loving skills, forgiving skills or anything about feelings at the teacher’s college and universities? They were trained based on theories which do not really guarantee success as we do not share the same settings as the writers of the theories. How many teachers teach from their heart? How many teachers love the students? How many teachers forgive their childhood memories? How many teachers forgive their ex-teachers? How many teachers forgive their own parents? Some teachers treat the students well while some teachers give their students a living hell. Some teachers focus on understanding while some focus on memorizing. Some teachers plant seeds of happiness while some cultivate the culture of violence and hatred in their students. Some teachers inspire their students while some torture their students mentally, physically and emotionally. Some teachers really care about the students while some will ask the students a very hurting question cynically, “who are you?” Why is this happening?   Can we stop it? The government has to offer new courses on EQ at teacher’s college and universities. Teach them how to care, how to listen, how to inspire, how to educate, how to forgive themselves, how to love, how to respond to negative circumstances and etc. if we wish to see improvements in our education system. Teachers must teach with love instead of merely feeding the students with the content of the subject as teaching with love makes students feel that they are accepted and cared for. On the government part, work hard on these three elements which are proper recognition, proper acknowledgement and proper appreciation. If you work hard on these three elements, you will see a huge improvement in our education system because you must understand that teachers are human beings who have feelings and their feelings are very REAL.
Let me give you another example. A man who is an engineer is taught about the mechanics of man-made creations in university. However, did he learn about how to be a human in university? Was he taught about the importance of EQ in university? Did he learn about how to socialize with others? Was he taught about how to deal with other human beings in addition to mastering everything about engines? Was he taught about how to deal with pressure positively in lives?  We have to educate them that this machine is created by men. We have to educate them that human beings have feelings. If an engineer treats others as machines, we will have troubles. It gets worse when the engineer treats himself or herself as machine as he or she denies his or her feelings.
In conclusion, we have to reevaluate our education system and reeducate the minds of our parents, teachers, administrators, leaders, lecturers and our children that our feelings are more important than what we think because positive feelings will always get along well with positive thinking. Don’t you want this world to be inhabited by positive people with positive feelings?

Originally written by:
Mr. Mani anak Jack.
These are the books that I read in order to help me write this essay. I hope that this essay can trigger a new way of how we look at ourselves especially how we deal with our feelings because our feelings affect the way we think. 
1.    Leo F.Buscaglia, Ph.D.: Living, loving and learning.

2.  Norman Vincent Peale: The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking

3.  David J.Schwartz,Ph.D: The Magic Of Thinking Big.

4.  Margaret Nicholas: The world’s Wealthiest Losers.

5.  L. Ron Hubbard: The Way to Happiness

6.  Promod Batra: Simple Ways to Manage Stress

7.  Steve Chandelier: Become The Person You Have Always Wanted To Be

8.  Rhonda Byrne: Secret “The power”

9.  Rehman Rashid: A Malaysian Journey

10.               Azizi Ali: Lahirnya Seorang Jutawan

11. Wallace D.Wattles: The New Science of Getting Rich

12.               Cecil G. Osborne, D.D.: The Art of Getting Along With People    


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